10. PARALIB. Someone paralyzed, but who is mad as hell and is not going to take Jerry Lewis anymore!
9. HANDISAPIEN. Anyone post Jurassic Park, but pre-ADA.
8. ADVOCRIP. What a crip becomes if he/she spends an exhausting amount of time lobbying for the disabled in Washington, DC.
7. GIMPALID. And "invalid" with an ATTITUDE. Used primarily by the physically challenged.
6. ROLL MODEL. Should only apply to those in wheelchairs, but not necessarily Christopher Reeve.
5. CRIPNIK. What a crip becomes if he/she lives in Greenwich Village or San Francisco and read all of Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac but not necessarily John Callahan.
4. GAMBOLAME. What happens if a crip spends far too much time walking around Las Vegas and/or Atlantic City hoping to win THE BIG ONE and get off those rotten, stinking, pittances called a "government entitlement" and actually get decent medical care despite Republican opposition to all of the above except gambling.
3. WISENHIMER'S. A disease affecting the long-term and short-term memories of primarily conservative Republican Handisapiens. See also Newtamania. And don't you forget it!
2. RANDOMLY ABLED. One day this works; one day that works; but you're NEVER impotent! And hardly ever vote Republican!
And the number 1 "politically correct" term to replace "handicapped"...
1. JURASSIC PARKINSON'S. It's not only a disease, it's also a lunch box and an action figure!
Thanks to Bob Mauro, http://idt.net/~mauro
Copyright © 1996 - 1997 Reach Out Magazine
Publisher, Jim Jakubek