Reach Out on Laughter

VIRUS ALERT! List of newly discovered viruses:

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.)

MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.

MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.




Copyright © 1996 Reach Out Magazine
Publisher, Jim Jakubek