Sex is a Man's Best Friend
Usually everyone who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy or something. I call mine "Sex". Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in this alley at 4 a.m. in the morning. I said I'm looking for Sex.
My case comes up next Thursday.
One day I went to City Hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." And he said she didn't care how she looked. Then I said, "You dont understand, I've had Sex since I was two years old." he replied, "You must have been a strong boy."
When I decided to get married I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait till after the wedding. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestlye revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone coming to the church would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace.
My family is barred from the church.
My wife and I took the dog along with us on the Honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife & I and a special room for Sex. The clerk said every room in the motel is for sex. Then I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night. And the clerk said "Me too."
One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said, "Show-off." I told him it was a contest and he told me I should have sold tickets. When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." And the Judge said, "Me too." When I told him that after I was married, Sex left me, he said, "Me too." Well now, I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more damn trouble with than I ever gambled for.
Why just the other day when I went for my first session with psychiatrist and she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble", and I replied, "Well Sex has died and left my life" "It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you & I both know that Sex isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."
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